Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
