Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize