I wish I could punch you in the face.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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