I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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