they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
