my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
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