dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
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I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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