no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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