Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
