Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
