I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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