My hand turned me down
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize