Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be a condom model.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize