She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
