what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
