I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
