im drinking this country out of the recession.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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