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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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