you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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