Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
