Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
