they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
