plz talk dirty to me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize