Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
