you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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