She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
