Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
