i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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