Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Are we still banned from the library?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
