it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
