when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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