TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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