Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
