We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize