Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
