I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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