I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
