yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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