i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
