Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
