why didn't you poke me back
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
