"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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