Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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