yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
