Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
