i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
