I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
