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• (517): View more from Michigan

  and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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• (925): View more from California

  never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I can dry shave vagina like a champ

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights

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• (315): View more from New York

  Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.

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