you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
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I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that