So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
