If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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