This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
