I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
