Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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