You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
