Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
