At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
