I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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