Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
why is half of my head shaved?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
