ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
