how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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