the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This is the prime rib incident all over again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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