I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
