i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
