how can u be prego again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we're so committed to being not committed
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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