So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize