i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
