worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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