The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
