you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
