I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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